You Want A Boring Life

I want the same.

People complain about their dull lives all the time. They crave something exciting.

But the second things get interesting, they change their minds.

I don’t blame them an ounce.

I change my mind several times a day, too. Just pass the fat plate of boring with all the fixings, please.

That way, I can go nap off the rest of my life with the TV blaring in the background.

Interesting can mean big-time drama and that’s just not cool.

Throw in a lifetime’s supply of paperwork, stable hours, a nice house and family. That will suffice, thank you ever so much.

A nice headstone in a respectable area of the cemetery and end of script.

As I rest in peace, I’ll say, “Thanks for being kinder to me than you were to most others, God. I was an unusually unique case. Thanks for taking notice of that and bestowing your blessings accordingly.”

I Love A Good Story (Don’t You?)

Sure, white-knuckled adversity makes for unforgettable novels. It makes riveting movies.

Stories like that make me cry. Make my stomach churn. Make me angry. Make me fear all is lost.

Best of all, against all odds, they overcome. They triumph. They make me feel alive.

When I’m done, I put them back on my shelf, turn them in to the library, walk out of the theatre or turn off the TV.

Betrayal, loyalty, greed, generosity, unfaithfulness, purity, hope, despair, poverty, luxury, prejudice, trust, honor, dishonor…

Yep, bring them on so long as those ups and downs happen to someone else.

And that’s how it should be.

After all, someone has to go through things like that so people like you and me can enjoy a good story, right?

I love viewing those stories from afar. It’s safe but you still get the adrenaline rush.

Let someone else go without food or get sold into slavery.

Be wrongly accused.

Someone else’s loved one die.

Lose their job.

Someone else abandon hope.

You say mountainous terrain makes for an exciting journey—is that what you say? Throw in some rocks, some deadly passes, wild animals, dangerous storms and armed bandits?

Very well, then. Go on your journey under those conditions. God be with you!

I’ll be your number-one fan. You’ll be in the forefront of my prayers. I’ll be in your corner always.

Go with you? Is that what you ask?

Oh no. Not me.

I’m not the adventurous type. But I sincerely wish you the best. You’ll have my respect.

I’ll tell others about how intrepid you were when you went off. When you went off all alone on your journey in the darkness, driving rain and sleet, your hood over your head and your jawbone set.

You’ll be famous. I’ll see to that.

Only leave me out of the matter.

Then I can get on with my normal life and complain about its normalness. And that’s exactly as it should be…

Well, Almost…

What I’ve told you so far is only half true.

I really do want an interesting story. So do you.

An unusually interesting story.

But paying the price for that kind of script, now that’s a different matter.

I want a calm, easy, non-eventful, no-conflict, no-grief kind of life that’s compelling and inspires people.

Where people can pick up the uninteresting story of my life, read it, look for a plot, find none, and say, “There’s a guy who had absolutely nothing happen to him! Had no adversity. Who did nothing of consequence. Wow, what a wonderful story!”

I want a boring life but I don’t. I want an inspiring story but I don’t.

I want to live to live. Not die to live like Jesus said his children must do.

Great example, Jesus. Glad you were homeless, despised and mudered so I could live the life I want to live now and after death. It makes for a pleasant blog to keep talking about that aspect all the time.

Now I can get on with my life and do what I want. Thanks, Jesus. I’ll see You in Heaven someday.

That’s a great deal—me, me, me.

But, Jesus, You keep whispering something to me. You keep saying, “Die to live.”

You keep telling me there’s a cost to walk your path. But that the reward far outweighs staying put.

You’re going to suffer whether you stay put or not. Why not at least let your suffering have a purpose,” You say.

I’ve been trying to shut You out for a long time but it’s not working so well.

Leave me alone. I’m scared to death to die,” I say.

Not the six-feet-under death. That living death You haunt my dreams with is far scarier than that.

I know what happens when people physically die. I get that enough.

But I have no idea what you’ll ask of me once I’m fully yours.

I wait for You to relent like a parent who’s tired of nagging so I can get on with my “life”.

But You never tire. And that’s problematic.

You’re always there with those blood-stained hands saying the same thing—”Die to live.”

And the closer those loving hands get to me, the more I realize how pathetic my life of “self-preservation” has become.

This is how you really live,” You say.

You take all the crap everyone else says is important, throw it in a hole and bury it.”

Then, you follow me and never look back.”

I can promise you, it will be anything but easy. But the deep fulfillment you experience will more than make up for that.”

I realize that regardless of which path I choose, neither is safe.

They say you don’t change until the pain of not changing is greater than the pain of changing.

Well, I’m darn-well near that point. Hopefully, you are, too.

Guess it’s time for us to pack our bags and head out into the unknown, after all.

“Boring” is way overrated. Agreed?





“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”